Mirror, Mirror

image: Duane Michals

Through the years the woman looking back

At me from my mirror has been so changeable

As to be unrecognizable from time-to-time

By those nearest and dearest, and even by me

The early years, before my twenties, are blurry

But I was in the fashion business so I have

A photographic record and can look at it

And say, oh – so that’s who I was back then

After I married, I would often look in the mirror

And depending on the day, say to the woman

I found there – you are the luckiest girl alive, or,

What have you done? Where can you run?

There were times when I would stumble into

My bathroom afraid to turn on the light, frightened

To confront the crone I knew was awaiting me

In the mirror there, especially if she had been there long

Oftentimes, I would glimpse her accidentally

And she would rail at me to end it all and I would

Let her, listening intently, then crawling away

To whatever hidey-hole I’d fashioned for a time

The crone would never leave me willingly, on her

Own – I would have to run, most often to a hospital

 Away from my mirror, for a time, to oust her

From my house – then, when I saw a semblance

Of myself reflected back – I knew I could return

To family, to sanity – to try again, and I would

Reinvent the woman I thought I should be

Becoming wife, mother - trying always to stay sane

After many, many years – I found the mirror less

Intimidating, the crone appearing more infrequently

Or maybe I became used to her and familiarity gave

Me a certain advantage – I knew I could beat her

Or even learn to live with her and so I did

Now she and I are one – we try to live together

In a kind of truce, with a sort of wisdom; I know

She can take me down if she puts her mind to it

She knows I am stronger than I used to be

And don’t go to ground nearly as quickly

Or without putting up a fight, as I did in the

Good old days —we are making it work somehow

There is an old adage about living your life

In such a way so that you can face yourself,

Look at yourself in a mirror — I get that now

I’m finally able to do it, at least today I can.

S.E.Ingraham©