Friday, August 29, 2014

FINISHED THE DAY





















art by Kim Northrope

(all the prompts and exercises that led to this poem follow the poem...)

Finished, the day's deliberations as twilight turns
the sky a fulsome blush
Finished, the busyness of life as families flee home
for reconnection, peace
Finished, for the nonce, all strife mentioned;
now put away
Now is the time for recharging, reclaiming
that of you that needs rescuing
Remembering who it is you really are,
the why of you and what you do


Miz Quickly Exercises  from August 16th 2014 - Quickly, Warm Up

Exercise of the first part (use each of the words in a "poetic" stand alone line)

Drink deep of dawn and slake sleep's left-over dreams.
Her world contained in one sparkling tear-drop reflected his.
Sometimes fishing brings the solitude found with singing sardines.
No sound is more needed than that of a baby's laugh.
Her writing spilled lines and letters like an overfull abecedarian's knapsack.
There is nothing so terrible as a wish become regret, once time beats a tick too fast.
For a cemetery, it was surprisingly filled with life, herds of jack-rabbits hopping everywhere.
She dangled from the overhang, hanging by the strap on her purse, finished.
It's not every day you hear your name mentioned in a valedictory speech and a eulogy almost simultaneously.
Those apostles, they had to be twelve, didn't they? A dozen - not a Baker's Dozen...a true dozen.
Is there anything as haunting as the call of the loon?
The bag tipped and soon there were oranges rolling every which way.

Exercise of the second part: take six of the words and write two lines with each of them. Two lines that work together. Use your word once, or twice (or three times if you can manage it artfully)

In her whole life, she had needed no-one and nothing; wanted nothing so much as not to be needed. Now, with a baby, hers alone it seemed - it was round the clock, twenty-four seven being needed.
He was surprised to find he was so old-school but the proof was in the hand-written letters, years of them bound with cross-grain ribbon. Love letters, pen-pal letters -- even copies of letters he'd written to buddies way back when...yep, old-school, for sure.
The man wondered if there was such a thing as a terrible-metre, some way to measure the degree of awful that was going on. He pictured a large thermometer-type gizmo with 9/ll being up near the high end of terrible and the Hindenburg being...hmm, he realized he didn't know where to put that burning ship, nor the Titanic, nor the paltry terrible that went on in everyday life.
There was life in the old wolf yet, she thought, watching her aging border-collie cross bound ahead through the blizzard. Wait up, she tried sending him telepathic messages, the life left in my legs is not quite as lively as yours seem to be...how that always led to thinking about life-span, she found herself musing.
Taking down trees was one of her least favourite tasks but she was almost finished with the weeping birch. Finished, was what it was, she found herself thinking as she cut up the branches...brittle and dead, ready to be burned in her fireplace come the winter.
Was it enough to be mentioned at the end of life, she wondered, sitting quietly in the half-empty church, listening to the eulogy for her friend. She guessed a heartfelt eulogy was more than a mention really but were any words enough?
Her mother was delighted when her brother was ordained; after all, he had the call, as she told anyone who would listen. "A calling, Mom," she couldn't help correcting her. "He has a calling...you make it sound like he keeps getting a telephone call."

Exercise of Third Part - If you have time for it: Use three words in a poem of six to ten lines (Finished the Day - the poem at the top is the answer to this exercise)

Thursday, January 23, 2014

OFF THE LEDGE


                                     











The caller was determined to die, he said
I knew there was some hope or he wouldn't have called
But thinking I had been where he was, I was cocky,
sure I could talk him out of it, talk him down, as it were
Little did I know that some pain is so unfathomable
There is no explaining it away, no putting word bandages on it
No making it alright, no matter how long you keep them on the line

He’d finally found his birth father he told me,
but he sounded so sad...
And that’s not a good thing because?
I tried to be gentle as I prodded, needing to keep
him talking, trying to find out where he was, get a fix
An inhuman sound came at me over the telephone line,
a wailing chuckle if you can imagine such a thing
 – and then, in a voice as cold as autumn rain

He started to tell me his story, backwards, it seemed, but still,
“Do you believe in depression?”  He asked, trying to sound defensive and uncaring
both at the same time, no mean feat –
“Do you?” His voice is louder now...
I must not have answered...
“Yes – I do,” This was a no-brainer for me, depression and I were soul-mates.

“Well – this is beyond depression, I think,” He sounded very sure, resigned and cold.
“This is mind cancer. See – my theory is this – depression is just like cancer. No-one knows for sure what causes it; once you get it, you can get it again. And again. No-one knows for sure what helps it. They just experiment by putting chemicals in your head, or putting you in the hospital, or both. It’s like it goes into remission and then it recurs again and again. And let’s face it, for lots of us – it’s fatal. Like cancer.”
I’d never really thought about it like that...
“It’s an interesting theory,” I allowed as much, but, not wanting to let this end badly, quickly added, “But, like many cancers, it doesn't have to be fatal.”

“I know, I know...” He sounded so defeated now, so tired. “It’s just that sometimes, you learn things that make you want to just stop. You know? Just give it up?”
“What’s making you so sad this time Tomas?”
By now we were getting to know each other and starting to trust me, he’d confided his name.
“You don’t want to know!” His voice was filled with rage and pain and something indefinable.
“What if I'm just like him?” He sobbed. “What if I turn out to be just like him?”
“Like who? Your Dad?” I felt like the director of a bad play, but knew he needed to get it all out or he would just take the dive

“Yeah...” His whisper, so low, I had to strain to hear him now. “He died before I got to him, the bastard, rotted in jail the way he shoulda...”
“That must've been hard Tomas,” I tried to remain detached, matter-of-fact
“Did you know he was in jail, before you found him?”
“Oh yeah—Children’s Aid thought to tell me that—they just forgot to mention a few details...”
Bitterness so palpable it dripped like acid through the phone-lines, made me wince
“Details, huh? Want to tell me what they neglected to tell you Tomas?”
His laugh was not a real laugh but some mockery of one, a sound not easy on the ears
“You think you want to hear this, Miss Dial-A-Hope lady? Okay—listen up—you probably won’t hear this story every day.”
For almost a minute, the lines between us hum; I get ready to ask if he’s still there when he starts:

So—I get to the Max—and say who I am and who I'm there to see—well, they get all antsy, real nervous-like. Finally the warden comes out and shows me into his office, asks me do I want a coffee or pop or something. I'm thinking, what the hell, when finally the guy, really pretty nice if you like the army sergeant type, looks me square in the eyes and tells me my old man just kicked the bucket two days before I got there.
Can you beat that? All these years, I've put off looking for him cause every time I mention him, everybody got all excited and said, no don’t
Now – here I am, and he goes and dies –well shit – there you go

Would you like to have his possessions, the warden is asking me, since no one else has claimed them
Sure, why the hell not, he must have been quite a prince, I'm thinking – no one claimed the body or his stuff
They buried his ashes in the potter’s field at the back of the prison the guy says
Yeah, well – whatever –
It occurs to me that I don’t even know what my father was in prison for so I ask;
Not for the first time, the warden looks uncomfortable
“I thought you knew,” he says, running his finger inside his collar like suddenly
it’s too tight or something

“There’s no easy way to say this son,” he tells me, “So I'm going to just say it. He was in for murder.”
“Yeah? ” It doesn't matter. I mean, I didn't even know the guy – what’s it to me, eh?
“Who’d he off?” I was all nonchalant-like ‘til I notice the warden looks a little ill
“Who’d he kill?” My voice was loud in that office, demanding then. I knew I wasn't going to
like the answer
The warden coughed, looked out the window, then squared his shoulders and looked right at me again
I have to give the guy his props – he was a straight, square-on guy
“He killed your mother son, I'm sorry to tell you” he said gruffly, then hesitated as if debating whether to continue; I guess he figured I’d learn the truth sooner or later anyhow, so he went on

“He shot her while she was asleep in her bed with one of your sisters asleep in the bed right
beside her... If we still had the death penalty, by God, he would have been hung.”
All the air in that room was sucked out right then and I think the warden was maybe sucked out too – I don’t remember

When I came to, a white-capped nurse was bending over me, looking anxious; I heard her say
“How hard do you think he hit his head?” My head hurt like a bugger, I can tell you that
It hurt worse when everything came rushing back to me and I wondered if I’d dreamed
the whole miserable story
One glance at the warden and I knew it was no dream, no mere nightmare either

So, yeah – I guess you could say that’s the ballad of Tomas and his father

Pretty damn depressing, wouldn't you say? I thought I was sad before...
When my parents left (guess that’s a euphemism for died, and were incarcerated)
It turns out – when that happened, my brothers and sisters were all split up
My grandmother – Mom's Mom – wanted to take us all but Children’s Aid thought she was too old to take us all in and that it would be so much better to separate us and send us all
to different foster homes
And eventually adopt us all out – never telling any of us where the rest were,
effectively orphaning us all, in one fell swoop – hallelujah
I won’t bore you with our life stories but it’s enough to say I guess:
Two of my sisters have committed suicide and another has made attempts,
all of us have tried various illegal substances to an unhealthy degree,
I found everyone, incidentally – although as with dear old Dad – many were six feet under before reunification

So, it’s been nice talking to you lady – you’re a good listener you know?
But it’s getting chilly and I'm so tired; I know you've been trying to figure out where I am
so some well-meaning do-gooder can come and rescue me, but really?
It’s not what I want. No, I just needed to hear a friendly voice before I left,
tell somebody my story
Thank you sweet lady. Please don’t beat yourself up about this. There really isn't anything
you could have done.
You've been better to me than most

Oh look, the sun just broke through the clouds there, a last wink before setting
It’s beautiful really – I believe I’ll fly right into that opening in the sky.

S.E.Ingraham





Wednesday, January 8, 2014

THIS IS NEW















She looked the new year right in the face
Shouted loud, "Bring It!", make it novel, unused
Give me excitement and pick up the pace

Then threw back her head, laughed deep and long
Felt instinctively this time she'd not be refused
This year she'd write new words to that tired old song





Sunday, December 8, 2013

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

BENEATH SKIES

(Woman in Fields by Musin Yohan)




















She will bend
beneath skies
fraught with
fallen angels
Her sight stolen
as soon as she
strains to see
past the edge
of now
Beyond
the parameters
of yesterday.

And in her
gown woven
from memories
as solemn
as prayer
or baptism
she will
wander blindly
through fields
stripped bare
of growing
things...

Picking her
way carefully
through rutted rows
carrying kindling
bits high
upon her head
Doomed to
endless traipsing,
endless
carrying on.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

ALL I WANT IS A GOOD OLD PEACE MARCH


So they came to me all fired up, with that look in their eyes
That I remember so well, that I haven’t seen in mine for years
And their words spilled out on top of each other as they fair
Bubbled over with excitement as they contemplated this new idea
They had – well they weren’t quite that naive – they knew it wasn’t
Really brand new but they also knew it hadn’t been done on a large
Scale for some time and they think they’ve figured out a way to do it big
And when they said big, they meant huge – they said, we want to march
For Peace, oh and Non-Violence too, if we’re going to do it– let’s do it

So we put the kettle on and some of us opened wine or beer, and I settled
Back and started listening, then started reading their material; then
After a very short while, I picked up my phone and called a few close friends
Told them they better get on over to my house, the peace train was about
To run again and we needed to get on board I thought, but I wanted more
Than just a second opinion, I wanted a third, a fourth and more, if you please
And I don’t think I imagined it, the ripple of excitement I heard, just behind
The first “mmmhmms?” that were definitely tinged with years of scepticism
Bred of cynicism and age, in my view, perfectly understandable, having come
From there myself – however, when I started tossing out numbers and names
Of some of those, already signed on, there were these little pockets of silence
And then, inevitably, the acquiesces - the agreeing to come over for just a bit;
In less than thirty minutes, even those that lived the furthest away, had arrived.

As is true of many a fine idea, this one was simple at its core
A World March for Peace and Non-Violence, that would kick off in New Zealand
On the anniversary of Ghandi’s birth, October 2 – and after wending its way
From and continent to continent, and country to country– the march would end
On January 2, at the base of the Andes Mountains in Argentina
When I asked how many people would actually march all those places,
They told me, it would be a symbolic core group of between 20 and 100 people
Then, one of them took out his laptop and showed me the map
With all the countries signed on and explained how marches will take place
along the way every single day of the three months between October and January
Every day, somewhere in the world, sometimes more than one place
There will be a march or a sporting event or a country fair or the opening of an art gallery
And each time one of these things happens,  it will be done in the name of this march

Then, he showed me their newsletters and more people already endorsing the march
Admittedly, I was impressed – it’s not every day you see the Dalai Lama,
and the President of Chile,
Yoko Ono and Desmond Tutu cheek by jowl with Viggo Mortensen, Art Garfunkel 
and Amnesty International...
So - obvious question – what do you need with me – it seems this is going well
Well indeed, they nodded, but not so much in this part of our country
Besides, we’ve heard stories about – back in the day
My friends are exchanging knowing looks a few chuckles
I wonder who’s sold me out; decide it might’ve been my kids ...

Anyway, they continue, we don’t want to be left behind, we want to mobilize,
do our part, you know?
Of course I know – remember well, living at the other end of this country
And travelling to New York at times to march, although Toronto wasn’t bad for protests
In the 60’s and 70’s and it looks like it’s going to be holding its own again this go round
But, I agree, there is no reason the capital city of this fair province cannot lead the way
For the west – not B.C. of course – they probably know more about parades then the rest of us
Put together – but for the prairies to the mountains – we will pull it together
We will overcome, whatever there is to overcome, and we will march in the name of peace
Ahh – and I thought being a grandma was going to be exciting...who knew this other was coming?

This was written during the run-up to the March for Peace and Non-Violence, several years ago,an incredibly successful world-wide project that did unite all the continents, hundreds of countries and cities around the planet and garnered interest and conscious-ness raising in such diverse groups as professional soccer teams in Europe and elementary schools in the Philippines...as mentioned in the poem - it began on Gandhi's birthday on October 2nd in New Zealand and ended on January 2nd in Argentina. (this site was chosen partially because it was the birthplace of the founder of the march and partly because it was a natural end to circumnavigating the globe.)

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

TREES DYING IN ICE




  















In the photo the girl is taking a picture
An old-fashioned camera held to her eye
And all about her a fairyland of crystal;
Trees, bushes, buildings outlined
Even in black and white, everything
Shimmers in the sunlight, everything
Glimmers and sparkles like crystal

It is only after careful examination
That the eye registers the awkward
Un-natural angle of tree-branches
And whole rows or trees lying down
As if shot by firing squads and all of them
Iced over thickly until it is impossible to tell
Where one stops and another begins

The ice-storm came in the dark of night
With the winds high, howling wildly
And sleet sheeting down in copious amounts
The ice built up, layering the wood
Until its groans could be heard even
Over the storm’s cacophony – wood dying
Groans and moans deeply but in the end

Booms as loud as thunder when the ice
Takes its life – whether amputating limb
By large limb, or going right to the heart
And chopping it down at the trunk
Ultimately, the sound so like that of a rifle
Report ends with old growth forest being
Brought to its knees and no matter
How beautifully the storm dresses the result
The damage is fatal and irreparable





Friday, January 18, 2013

SIFTING THROUGH YOUR LIFE











Finally tomorrow, we hold your memorial
And it's time, past time really;  I don't regret
The three weeks between your death
And the day we remember you -
For various reasons it was a necessity
But now, we need to have the thing
At least do this part of the process
So we can move forward, I know you
Would agree

So - after a week of writing out abbreviated
Versions of your life to fit with obituary stylings
And still honour your wishes, plus a memorial card
And an Order of Service - all similar but none
Exactly the same, we are on the cusp of ready
But not quite; now there is the business
Of assembling a tasteful grouping of items
For a table to be placed in the narthex at the church

Some things that will be representative of you
and your life but not overly so, and nothing tacky
Something that memorial attendees may gaze
Upon before and after the service whilst waiting
A turn to sign the visitor's guest book, proof
Positive that yes, they did indeed show up
For this, or before they queue up for coffee, tea
Or sweets, after the service, prepared
By your lovely Ladies Guild who insisted
On doing everything "because it was no trouble"

Or maybe while they wait to speak with family
Yours is not large and depending on crowd size
It may take time if one wants to chat for any length
Of time

So - what of your eight-seven years would you find
Appropriate for this table? Your eldest grandchild
Has an inspirational thought and one we all
Agree on - for Christmas she bought you a digital
Camera frame, one you regrettably did not live
Long enough to enjoy - she offers to download
Pictures of you and your family to run continuously
During the period we are at the church - we all concur

You had mentioned you might like your book on display
And of course we'll honour that wish - you were,
After all, a published author - and your book saw
Two different runs - both versions will be displayed
With some photos of you as a celebrity author
We were prouder of you then probably than any
Other time - your stint as "The Doll Lady" was such
A wonderful time and made more so because
You took it upon yourself to speak out against
Racism and you did it with your book and your talks
In such a way that school kids understood and "got it"
And you never made money from all that speech-making
And travelling - only the rare honorarium - and did your book
Ever make royalties? Probably not enough to cover
Your cross-Canada research trips but you so enjoyed
Both the work and the results - a good time in your life

Maybe a few photos of your church in its infancy
For only a very few new members would not know
That this church where your memorial is being held
Is quite literally "your" church - when you moved
To Edmonton and found out this group were meeting
In a school but had a parcel of land left to them
In a will - land they were about to lose if they didn't
Get busy and build on it - what did you do?
Of course - contacted the powers that be - got permits
Marshalled those that could do such things
Got the hole dug and in less than a year ...
"Grandma's Church" was no longer meeting in the school

Not something we can put on the table
But certainly something that typifies your determination
And initiative - although, it won't happen tomorrow
Because it's still winter here and the ground
Is frozen hard as cement but - when my Dad died
You decided you wanted him near you - got your church
Fathers or deacons - whatever they're called
To approach the city and get the land around the building
Consecrated, for heaven's sake (no pun intended)
They (the city) wouldn't go as far as making it an actual cemetery
Which was fine with you - you didn't want gravestones
There anyhow - feel it invites vandalism - how sad is that
Just wanted to be able to bury Dad's ashes beneath a tree
Near one of the side doors of the church - we all have a map
Then add yours there when you die which, of course
Means - as soon as the ground is workable, we will
Be planting you there as well ...

And finally, after that, I guess - we will be done ...

Monday, December 3, 2012

Saturday, November 3, 2012

My How I Love that Voting Thing ...


There is nothing like a political
Race to get the juices flowing
All that give and take and take and take
Not to mention the constant
Mud-slinging, brings one right back
To the sand box, doesn't it?
Although not quite as civilized maybe
I just love how polite everyone is
How carefully each opponent listens
To each other and never changes
Their stance on anything so I always
Know right where they're coming from
Oh yes - it's enough to make anyone
Want to throw their hat in the ring
Why I've even thought from time-to-time
I might try and become an American
But we have so much fun on this side of the border
Why would I want to change my stripes
Our dear Prime Minister has almost guaranteed
He'll do anything his good buddy in the White House
Suggests, no matter who it is, nor what he wants
It's just too bad this only happen every four years

S.E.Ingraham



Wednesday, September 26, 2012

I Dream the Lake and You (V)





















In the lake that I count on to be
My everything, before the bow
of my scarlet canoe, you rise up
Like a mirage; I try blinking
You away and for seconds
You disappear - as ghostly
As the geisha in mama's good
China set - do you remember her?
The way she only appears in certain types
of light - faint but perfect in every detail, she is
But you - you are yourself only not...
You are also the lake, fully water
And I think I see you like a cut-out doll
As you rise up staring through me
Then turn and are gone again just like that
And I think I must be going mad
I look off starboard,  and there you are again

Artwork: photo from Margo Roby's Wordgathering exercise 9.25.12 - by Chris Goan
taken of statue, sculptor Rob Mulhollan from Caol Ruadh Sculpture Park

Thursday, September 6, 2012

BEYOND THE DARKROOM - Just Released!


Earlier this year, I was honoured to be asked to be part of a special collection of poetry dealing with the way humans deal with both physical and emotional trauma.

Beyond The Dark Room: An International Collection of Transformative Poetry was published on August 27th. Poems are divided into chapters that  deal with an emotion or state of being, dealing with and/or recovering from, a traumatic experience.  Chapters include topics ranging from Anger,and, Depression,and Calm, and Trust, to everything in between and beyond.

The book is available from Amazon.com and the royalties  go to 
                                                                                                                                                                                            


My rating: 5 of 5 stars
This collection of poetry runs the gamut of emotions human beings experience in dealing with trauma and life altering events. Many of the poems are hard-hitting and blunt while others are more subtle in describing
the anger, shock, and pain people deal with, but other poem in the book also deal with the emotions of
love and trust, of regaining confidence, and moving beyond…emerging from the “dark room”.












 

 


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Saturday, August 25, 2012

It’s About Time



Salvador Dali had a thing for clocks and watches
Letting time run off the canvas in a surreal fashion
Giving way to nightmarish visions and new meaning
To the fairy-tale beginnings of, ‘once upon a time’
Even before Jim Croce died before his time
Dali was dreaming of ways to put in time or rather
Put time in a bottle or some other container
Or so it seems if one studies his work long enough
Taking the time it takes to understand the artist
He, a painter of his time, was considered
Quite the trail-blazer, a man before his time
Some said - and others, one for his time, so it
Was difficult to decide which it was in a timely fashion
Although many dismissed him out-of-hand in no time
Refusing to consider that even tinged with craziness
Dali’s time had come and his art was just in time
For a public long stultified by less interesting fare



Thursday, August 16, 2012

Dusk Dreams













In that netherland
at day’s end when
the sun kisses the tips
of the waves
Good-night and
drowsiness reigns
A drifting in and
drifting out
of reality occurs
and sights seen
like bats on the wing
being ridden
by lithe silver fairies
are commonplace

Once a dragonfly
as big as my foot
set down right near
my resting book
Then, seemingly bored,
balanced carefully
on the edge
of my glass,
began sipping
my wine through
a green-grass straw
It next put on my
glasses, scanned the page
I’d been reading
before winging off
through the gloam...

There’s just such a
somnolence settles on
me at twilight that
makes it impossible
to move
Especially when
the enchanting
begins to beguile
Why on earth
would I want to bestir?

S.E.Ingraham©
A version of this poem appears in The 2009 Stroll of Poets Anthology


Wednesday, July 25, 2012

MEMORY PALES



Powders pale flung with abandon
Covered cheeks made rosy from the ocean's spray                         
Or indiscretions erotic deep in the tall grasses
When off the path we may have strayed
Memories swing between melancholy
And golden when recollecting those early days

S.E.Ingraham


Sunday, June 10, 2012

A BLACK-WEBBED CLAW













The bluffs in all their pristine cathedral-like wonder
Call with a persistence that haunts me day and night
In that shadow time that is neither dreaming  nor waking
I go there and crawl through the mud on a beach stained indigo

The stones of my childhood run black with blood and tears
An old willow trembles,  weeps dead snakes and impossible dreams
And tiny lighted vessels set off from the shore with all the people
I have ever loved aboard and waving under the light
Of a sickly moon, a double corona'd moon so lopsided
I wonder if it's the moon at all and not just some imposter nailed
Into the sky and in the time it takes to wonder this

The tiny vessels  drift so far out in the lake; I can't reach
Them;  now they are ablaze and all aboard are screaming—
I keep brushing at my face as if spider webs are blinding me
If I can just get free of them I will wake up and everyone will be saved.

S.E.Ingraham©



Thursday, June 7, 2012

HONOURING THE DEAD AND ENCOUNTERS


















Parallel universes aligning ignoring the spot
On Venus purposely - to honour the master
Everything else mattered not, not even
The recently retired spectacular moon twirling
Uselessly in the pale used up sky reflecting
Upon itself ... rivalries great were set aside
So trivial hates would not be acknowledged
Even in passing as all gathered for this send off

In less time than one might think light travels
They assembled on the innermost edge of the known
Universes in as many deep as there are rings
Of some little or unknown planets, mostly the latter

Earthlings, busy with their own preparations
For the well-known personage were oblivious
To the ones amassing in great numbers just beyond
The beyond - they had little idea of what was coming

On the third night after the great man's death
All of the non-humans had arrived and were ready
To do their part - since forever they had known
Once he ceased to breathe, he desired to come to them
And now, they wanted nothing but to honour his wish

As soon as the moon acquiesced and went darker
Than dark, they spun the earth quiet, drifted inside
Acquired the corporeal human and his soul-self
Slipped back to the outer edges, realigned moon
Planets, earth and all else - bowed to enemies
And friends alike and ferried the master home

Earthlings awoke surprisingly refreshed for the memorial
Paid homage to the man at his closed casket service
Went back to their lives never realizing their close
Encounters with the three hundred trillion kinds ...

S.E.Ingraham©